“Are the walls to lock you in or to keep others away? And if the doors were to be opened would you leave or would you stay?”
These are the first words in the song, “Run Wild” by for KING & COUNTRY. I love this song and it resonates with me deeply.
See, about 10 years ago I had locked myself in a prison of my own making. I allowed depression, anxiety, perfectionism, and co-dependency to rule my life. And my prison became a safe place. I knew what to expect (panic attacks, social anxiety, stomach pain…). And as horrible as these things were I didn’t quite know how to escape. And if I did what would the pain be like on the other side? Worse perhaps? Fear kept me trapped.
So, in working with a counselor (for many, many years) she showed me that the door was open and always had been. I didn’t have to be in bondage to my emotions, feelings, and OCD-ness. Yet, stepping out of the comfort zone was extremely hard. And it took me awhile to actually shed the chains of imprisonment.
And what took even longer was shedding the effects of my imprisonment. My hardened heart, my requirement for control in all situations, my tendency for enjoying being a hermit…
And if I’m honest those things still arise on occasion. If I can be aware of when these things might rear their ugly head, then I can take steps to prevent them from taking over. But if they blindside me then I become a prisoner in that moment.
So, I’m learning to be free again. And if I’m honest… this freedom is pretty awesome. I want to encourage you that if you feel imprisoned, you too can be free!
And the only way I can enjoy this freedom is because I know without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus paid the price for my ugly sin. He took on my shame, my imprisonment, my sin, and because He loves me so much I can live free. And He tells us:
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13 (NIV)
So, are you living free? And what are you doing with your freedom?
Run wild. Live free. Love strong my friends.