My Story in Songs

Before I was a health coach, before Ignite Life, and before courage, God spoke to my heart.  He told me, “I want you to encourage women with your story.”

My first reaction was NOOOOOO!!!! Anything but that!

But, I have had the experience of saying no to God and know what happens.  And I didn’t want to experience that again.  So, over the past four or five years God has been preparing me to tell my story.  He’s given me opportunities to tell small groups of people and a few friends and family.  And now he’s asking me to go public with my story.  Sigh.

And if you know anything about me you probably know part of my story:  the depression, anxiety, food allergies, etc.  But you might not know the rest of the story.

So, while I wait for him to guide me in exactly how He wants me to do that I’ll offer a few sneak peaks.

Music is huge in my life.  It moves my soul like nothing else, and it is a form of worship for me.  During the last ten or so years there have been some songs that I clung to during different periods of time that I think help you see where I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  These songs also give you a glimpse of the goals I had during those times too.  Take a listen and see if any of these songs resonate with where you are in your journey.  I’m including a few lyrics that specifically spoke to me during those times.

“Take Me to the King” by Tamela Mann

“Truth is I’m tired, options are few, I’m trying to pray, but where are you?  I’m all churched out, hurt and abused, I can’t fake, what’s left to do?  Take me to the king, I don’t have much to bring, my heart’s torn into pieces, it’s my offering.”

 

“Awesome” by Charles Jenkins & Fellowship Chicago

“My God is awesome.  He can move mountains.  Keep me in the valley, hide me from the rain.  My God is awesome, heals me when I’m broken, strength where I’ve been weakened, praise His holy name.”

“Marvelous Light” by Ellie Holcomb

“With years of keeping secrets safe, wondering if I could change, ’cause when you’re hiding all along, your heart can turn into a stone, and that’s not the way I want to go”

“If We’re Honest” by Francesca Battistelli

“Truth is harder than a lie, the dark seems safer than the light, and everyone has a heart that loves to hide, I’m a mess and so are you, we’ve built walls nobody can get through…”

“Shoulders” by For King and Country

“I look up to the mountains, Does my strength come from the mountains?  No, my strength comes from God, who made heaven and earth, and the mountains”

“It is Well” by Bethel Music

“Far be it from me to not believe, even when my eyes can’t see, and this mountain that’s in front of me, will be thrown into the midst of the sea.  It is well with my soul.”

And I continue to have songs that resonate with me more different weeks or seasons.  What song or songs do you cling to?  What songs give you hope, peace, comfort, support on your journey?

What about forgiveness?

Yeah. What about it?

Forgiveness is all about letting go of hurts and pains of the past.  Letting go of that story.  Letting go.

Take a few deep breaths…

Now tune into your mind and heart and see what past hurts you’re holding on to.  Take some time here, and just trust what comes to mind.

Forgiveness doesn’t right the wrong or make everything okay. What is does is free you from the imprisonment of that pain. What is holding onto that pain doing for you? Is it making you happy?  Bringing you peace and joy?  Providing for you?

It’s probably just causing you some negative side effects.

What is holding onto that pain doing for the person who caused that pain? Probably nothing. They might not even know about it, or remember it.

There are three steps to transforming old wounds and hurts.

2018-06-11 14.36.011. Tell the truth.

Telling the truth is a magical healing tool.  Take time to notice when you hold back from telling the truth in any situation:  at work, at home, at the post office, or restaurant…

Begin to be brutally honest with yourself and others about what you really want.

 

 

1 Corinthians 13:6

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” (NIV)

2018-06-11 14.36.412. Forgive

Who do you need to forgive in order to to heal?  And remember, you’re honoring step number one which is to be honest.  Perhaps, you might even need to forgive yourself.  Forgiveness is the key to liberation from being a victim.  Forgiveness is a choice.  Most times a very hard choice.  And sometimes forgiveness is like an onion – you just have to make the choice to forgive and keep peeling the layers away each and every day until the feeling finally comes.

 

Matthew 6:15

“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (NIV)

 

2018-06-11 14.37.463. Be grateful

When you have an attitude of gratitude your life is already abundant.  I like to say, what you appreciate appreciates.  In other words, focusing on being grateful for what you currently do have and love in your life opens you up to more of what you love.  Focus on what you do have, not what you don’t have.

 

And gratitude is a practice.  Especially for those of us prone to depression – like me.  I have found that if I take even one week off from my gratitude journal practice, I begin to slip ever so sneakily back into the depths.  This is a non-negotiable practice for me.

 

Philippians 4:8

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (NIV)

 

What hurt or pain are you finally ready to let go of and forgive?